Twin Flames, Faith, & Other Love Interests or Suitors

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I wanted to share what I’ve learned on the above subject. It’s a little personal, and while I hope not to get too personal, it’s necessary to share some details.

If you resonate with twin flames and feel that connection with someone, then you probably also recognize that this journey is one of faith. Faith can easily be the most difficult aspect, because we are accustomed to looking for results on the outside before we make any shifts internally. As you understand more how reality works, you know this is backwards. It can lead us to go in circles and feel unable to shift a situation.

We are also presented with many tests on this path, some of them in the form of other love interests or suitors. I feel that this is the universe saying to me, “Will you take this chance to settle for less than what you want, or will you keep the faith?” Before I became more at peace with all of it, I felt the question was, “What’s wrong with you, that you can’t take these opportunities with other potentials?” It left me feeling hopeless, that I would be alone forever. I tried more than I should have to make some of these other opportunities work, at the expense of my deep sensitivities.

If you find yourself interested romantically or sexually in another person – first of all, that’s completely normal, and there is nothing wrong with it. But you might find, when that happens and especially if it’s rare, you’re attracted to the person because they have traits that remind you of your TF. When this has happened for me and I pursued it, my TF was always in the background of my thoughts.

It was him I really wanted, regardless of whether I could be happy with someone else. I found that these relationships naturally fell away or didn’t work out for whatever reason. It was never because I brought up my TF or seemed hung up on him in any way. Usually, it was the other person who wanted to end things.

As you work on yourself spiritually and raise your vibration, you’re going to be overwhelmed with people who want some of your energy, and many of them might put a romantic interpretation on this. It does not matter what you look like; raising your vibration can make you physically attractive. (I know people who have used law of attraction to lose weight and even look younger.) Not to mention, people will see the light in your heart and not all of them will have the best intentions – the problem is, they aren’t aware of this. They just see this beautiful, compassionate, caring person that you are, and they want to make you theirs somehow.

This can be confusing at first. When it happened for me, I wondered, “Where are these men coming from, and why so suddenly? Am I not being open enough to the opportunities the universe is giving me?” The truth was, I was attracted to none of them, and as I became more aware that they loved my compassion and care more than me as a person, I slowly backed away. Because of my gifts, I understood them and was able to make them feel seen, but this was often one-sided. I did not receive it in return. Some of them said that I treated them in a way that no other woman ever had – and this was simply because I listened to them and validated their feelings. While that is a shame that it’s not a more common occurrence in their lives, this did not equate to love. True love takes much more than this, and it must flow both ways in order for both parties to feel satisfied and healthy.

If you are not yet in alignment with TF union on all levels, please don’t feel guilty if you seem to be having many other chances for a partner, but you aren’t accepting them. If you experience many suitors and wonder whether to accept their offers of companionship, look carefully at the other person’s energy and intentions toward you.

Some questions you might ask yourself:

  1. Does my body tense up when this person talks to me?
  2. Does this person offer more problems than solutions?
  3. Does this person seem clingy, or like they want more than I can give them right now?
  4. Are they being patient and kind, or demanding and passive-aggressive? Does it seem like they make up problems to get my attention?

These questions are especially important for those of you who identify as empaths.

One such suitor in my life threatened suicide after I turned him down. This was after I had given the relationship an honest try, but he behaved in a way that hurt me. After he told me he wanted to die, I spent the rest of the day desperately trying to help him and called the suicide prevention line for him, since he wouldn’t call it himself. He suddenly stopped texting me and I feared the worst. For several months, I carried this in my heart, and then he reached out to me, out of the blue. I was so happy he was alive that I agreed to see him. It became apparent that he wanted more than I wanted to give him, but I felt afraid to say no again. He sensed that none of my heart was behind it and became angry with me. I eventually had to block him.

I knew I couldn’t help him, and even if I did love him, it wouldn’t change anything. He held on to the belief that life was hopeless and lonely. He held on to a deep dislike of humanity. I could not change these things for him. After working so hard on myself to emerge from my depression, I did not want to be around someone who could drag me back into my old ways of thinking and feeling.

Pay attention to your red flags, and don’t doubt yourself if you want to hold out for your true love. Remember that love is patient and kind. You will be a gentle healing agent to many in your lifetime, but you also deserve this in return. You deserve a partner who can be positive and strong for you as you are for him/her. You’ve done far too much work and gone too far just to go this far.

This is not even about “waiting” for your TF.

It’s about your faith that the universe has something wonderful in store for you.

Turn What Ails You Into Your Creation

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We all have that one “thing” that seems to stay on in the background of our minds, waiting to present itself when we feel inclined toward a more “down” mood – those times that we’re tired, had a rough day at work, had a bit too much to drink, and our defenses are down.

That “thing” tends to be something we see as unable to be resolved and can be related to a deep trauma – not receiving enough love as a child, or not being able to be close to the people we love most, for instance.

This “thing” is perfectly valid, and of course it makes you feel this way. Who wouldn’t want to stay in bed with all the blinds and curtains closed, or binge eat, or insert your coping mechanism here, with this “thing” hanging over you? There is no need to feel ashamed of how you’ve handled this before, but I want to help you go about your self-soothing process more intentionally. You can do this while planting seeds so that what you want becomes your reality. It may take some time, but your efforts will be well worth it and lead to a happier, healthier, more balanced you!

What if I told you it’s not really the “thing” you’re after, but the emotional state you believe you’ll achieve once you have it?

That’s why sometimes, getting a long-held desire fulfilled can be a bittersweet experience. It feels good, but at the same time, you might feel a bit like, “I could’ve survived, even if it didn’t happen. I even feel like I want a little more.”

Sometimes, we use the “thing” to withhold our own love and approval from ourselves, which sends us further spiraling into misery and defeat. I can’t tell you how many times I have been my own worst enemy when something I wanted didn’t seem to work out. I always blamed myself. “If I had been a better person, I would have gotten that.” “If I weren’t so shy, this would have happened.” “If I had worked harder, this would be done by now.”

Rather than confining yourself to your bedroom or reaching for your coping mechanism, I want you to get into the habit of imagining how it would feel to get that “thing” resolved, once and for all. You can have fun visualizing how this might happen to help you get into the feeling state you’re craving. One exercise that I enjoy doing is the “What If” exercise that I’ve seen most often used by people practicing law of attraction. For it to work, you must be willing to suspend your disbelief and skepticism for just a few minutes. Dismiss the past; what happened before doesn’t matter, because anything is possible when you’re feeling better and acting from a place of self-love, wanting the highest good of all involved in the situation.

You don’t have to do this for long stretches of time. Start small. It only takes 3-5 minutes for the exercise to create a good feeling state. Can’t do whole minutes? Seconds are fine, too. This is a skill that improves with practice. For best results, do this every day.

In the case of not being in a loved one’s life – what if this person reached out to you and struck up a conversation? If initiating contact is out of character for them, what if something happened in their life that made them realize just how much they care for you? Maybe they would apologize outright if that seems appropriate, or maybe they would just talk to you, ask what you’re up to, how you are. What if this person wanted to connect with you purely because they enjoy your company? What if this person realized your value to them? What if this conversation led to you seeing this person? What if you were able to stop dwelling on the absence of them in your life because they made the effort to be present? How nice would that feel?

When you stop to think about it, the what ifs don’t seem so outrageous. You’re a good person, and you care deeply for those you love. You’re learning to create by love, not fear, so the only way for things to go is up. Forget how you’ve done in the past. You’re creating from a new space now.

You can create your own “What Ifs” if these don’t work for you. There is no way to do the exercise incorrectly. Remember, the objective here is to improve your mood and create the feeling state of having the love, connection, peace, etc. that you desire. Nothing exists outside you. If the person you cared about really did reach out, they didn’t generate your feelings of joy and being loved for you. Those feelings came from inside you, in response to whatever the person did to show you they care.

Since you can generate any feeling for yourself with the aid of your imagination, what I’m suggesting is not to wait for the outside stimuli to trigger that response.

All it takes to create a difference and that strong current of positivity within yourself is a few seconds, preferably every day, or as often as you can.

Please give yourself permission to stop holding that “thing” over yourself, using it to berate yourself for any past mistakes or justify why you cannot love yourself. You can be the person you want to be right now. We’ve all done things we regret – it’s very human and part of why we’re here – but you have a chance to be the person you want to be immediately. All it takes is a shift in your mindset.