You Are More Powerful and Intelligent Than You Know

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You are not at the mercy of the universe or some power outside you for anything you want. Sometimes, however, your deepest desires may be at more intuitive, subconscious levels than you realize.

What’s something you’ve always thought of or fantasized about doing, and how does it conflict with what you may be manifesting at a conscious level?

As an example, I’ve often daydreamed about being a guitarist and playing on stage. But consciously, I’ve put more focus into my day job, writing, and love life. Conscious manifesting requires being realistic about our limits of time and energy and directing our resources in ways that can help achieve a goal. While I still enjoy fantasizing about being a famous guitarist and singer, and I will continue music lessons, I know that being a guitarist in a more significant sense is not the direction I’m manifesting in at present. I’m okay with that.

But sometimes, this happens in ways that aren’t as easy to accept. For instance, one can deeply desire a committed, stable relationship, yet constantly find himself drawn to unavailable partners or relationships where conflict abounds. This was the case for me – I shrugged off the idea of there being just one available, loving person I could be with and be happy, and yet, I craved a relationship like this. I couldn’t admit to myself that I wanted it, and it was even harder for me to believe that I deserved it. Who was I to have someone in my life to be wholly devoted to and loving me? It turns out, this wasn’t such a crazy idea…

And that’s really what is at the heart of any advice where someone says, “The universe has something better in mind for you.” You are the universe; if anything in your reality doesn’t satisfy or feel good to you, it’s at conflict with what You, at your Core, at your Essence, want for yourself.

When you strip away the past wounding and the ideas around what is possible for you, this is the undiluted truth of your heart.

You Deserve Love That Excites You

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Yes, you. You deserve love that excites you.

I’ve noticed a lot of people associating a feeling of “butterflies” with anxiety or an unhealthy relationship dynamic. I’m of the opinion that there are different categories of butterflies. Yes, some can be from a nervous feeling you get just before you take uninspired action (i.e. action stemming from anxiety or a sense that you can’t have what you want). It may have also come up if you’ve ever been in an abusive situation that left you shaking and with knots in your stomach.

But then there are the butterflies you get right before you kiss someone you’ve wanted to kiss for a long time. There is the electricity of skin on skin contact with someone you adore. There are feelings of warmth that you get all over when you’re in someone’s arms, someone you care for, someone special to you. These are good butterflies. These are the ones you deserve to experience.

I feel that a lot of people have been settling into connections where their heart isn’t all in, or maybe they are even a bit bored, because they feel safer in those. They don’t bring up those feelings of anxiety or neediness. There is nothing wrong with that. But as a free spirit, I prefer being alone over a situation where I feel just so-so. I have worked hard for everything I have in my life, and I don’t want to share it with just anyone. I have a big heart and beautiful love to give, and I want to share it with someone who wants every bit of that, who is willing to give it back.

I used to believe the Universe was something outside me, an external force guiding all the decisions of my life and the people who enter it. The Universe seemed cruel, for it would introduce me to someone I love and then seem to pull them away. “There is someone better,” everyone would tell me, but this started to sound like a broken record the fourth and fifth times it happened. I got tired of it. Something better was always projected out into the future and never within my grasp.

There comes a time when you’ve healed enough to trust the yearnings of your heart, but if you continually believe that something better is in the future and not right now, you make that true. Of course, it is possible to keep attracting new people, but if this belief is not addressed, the outcomes can all be the same.

And so what is there to do when you’ve realized you can trust in what or who you want, but nothing seems to come of it yet? You can rest in the knowing that you deserve that love and live your life knowing it is already yours. There is nothing you need to do or be to get that love. You already have it. There is no void, and there is nothing wrong.

Love can be a feeling long before it becomes an action. If it is possible for you to think of someone every day and yet not reach out to them for months or years, or show external signs of that love, or tell all your friends about it, why should it be so impossible that the feeling could be reciprocal?

This is not to say that you should put your life on hold or that you will need to wait more months and years, but life takes on an entirely different hue when you move forward in it knowing you are loved and you can trust your heart. Life becomes gentler. The Universe feels like a friend. It is much easier to be engaged in your life, whether alone or with someone else, when you have a core belief that you are loved by those you love and everything is alright. Not just alright, but wonderful.

The Universe isn’t cruel. It isn’t anything, other than what you make it.

There isn’t some Jedi Council sitting out in the ether discussing your potential mates, comparing ancient scrolls and deciding who is supposed to be in your life and who is supposed to leave.

There is nothing outside you deciding how your life is supposed to go, unless you truly want and believe that. A lot of people are probably comforted by such ideas, but I am not.

You deserve love that excites you. You deserve to be with the people you love. But if that isn’t possible right now, you deserve to go on creating a life that you love, free of worry. There truly is nothing to worry about. The ones you’re missing now will catch up to you.

There is an over-used quote that many people have said to me about love, and it is this: “Love finds you when you least expect it.” I believe it should be modified to: “You are already loved, and this will become more apparent to you become more engaged in your life and no longer need that love or see it as something to fill your void. You have no void.”

Everything you choose for yourself should excite you and give you good feelings.

And yes, sometimes these feelings will be good butterflies. So don’t be afraid of them!

Living As If – It’s Simpler Than You Think

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“Living as if” has been one of those LOA concepts that was always unclear to me.

If you live as if you’re a millionaire, does that mean you’re supposed to go on a shopping spree with your credit cards? Then you sit back and know that the money to pay your bill will come in before your balance becomes past due? If you live as if you already have the relationship you desire, does that mean you can never flirt with anyone else? That you should never bask in the attention of another suitor?

I’ve come to understand this concept in a new way this year, and I want to share my take on it. As a result of living this way, life has become more relaxed. Negative thoughts aren’t as big of a deal as they used to be. And it works!

Living as if isn’t about doing anything that is outside your comfort zone to prove that you are in alignment with your desire. Let’s throw out the idea that we ever have to do anything to prove to the universe that we’re in alignment or deserving.

Alignment is about your ability to feel good and at peace. If you care about how you feel and make your peace a priority, then alignment will come more naturally to you. As far as deserving goes – abundance, love, joy, and peace are our birthright. While some of us may not have come into this life choosing those things, no one person is any more or less deserving of them than another.

In the example of attracting financial abundance, I would try thinking more from the perspective of someone who has been a millionaire for quite some time. If I had been a millionaire for years, and this was my life now, I wouldn’t go on big spending binges or shopping sprees often. Yes, I know that might sound strange. For some of you, maybe retail therapy is your love language to yourself, but it is not mine. Even if it is your language, making a subtle shift first is all it takes to move into this mindset of abundance and create that reality for yourself.

Instead, I would be mindful of the small, day-to-day thoughts I have about money. I would shift my thoughts toward the perspective of having been a millionaire for several years. In that reality, I wouldn’t feel guilty about spending a little extra for a healthy meal that I don’t have to cook myself. I wouldn’t feel concerned about taking money out of my savings account for home repairs or a down payment on a new car. These are all necessary things that add quality to my life.

When a company party came up, and the boss asked everyone to contribute $15 for a small gift, I wouldn’t grumble about that. I wouldn’t feel burdened by it. What’s $15 to a millionaire?

You don’t need to go out of your way or make big purchases that will stress you out later. If you could simply attach less worry to these things that come up in your day-to-day, that would make a huge difference. It’s true that money can’t buy love, but it can eliminate a whole lot of sleepless nights and headaches. Therefore, abundance feels like peace. What other words come to mind when you think of a life where you can always provide for yourself (and have fun, too)?

They key is making small, simple shifts that feel good. It’s not about the dollar amounts you spend or making some grand gesture to prove you’re a different person. Lining up with your more desired version of you is about what you’re thinking in each moment. It’s not only about what you’re doing, but the energy behind those actions. It is better not to take actions that will draw your attention to when and how the windfall is going to come. That puts you in a state of noticing and reaffirming that it’s not here yet, which only attracts more of that reality.

Ask yourself some questions about how you’re spending your day presently. What would be different about that if you were already living your desired reality? “For starters, I wouldn’t go to work!” you might say. Yes, that’s a very good point. You can still go to work without attaching so much importance to the negativity you feel about it. Think about what would make your job more bearable. It is okay if you can’t quite imagine yourself at your dream job or never having to work. Experiencing negative feelings and unwanted manifestations doesn’t have to be a big deal. It is only the importance you attach to them that creates “blocks.”

If you had the relationship you desire, would you be checking your phone throughout the day? Would you scroll through Facebook for hours? This is a nervous habit that many people have, this desire to “check up” on things. When the present reality is far from your desired one, it is better to ignore it as much as possible. Scrolling through your phone to check for signs of your manifestation – or checking anything external for confirmation – is not the best idea. And it’s not living as if.

Should you enjoy the attentions of others or date other people if there is a specific relationship you want to manifest? On the one hand, I feel it is a good idea because it can boost your self-esteem. On the other hand, it may only make you more aware that the person you truly love is absent. These are potentials that you must weigh for yourself. There are no universal rules in manifesting, and there are no limits. It all comes down to your beliefs and feelings. Your truths.

As always, I believe in you. I know you have the ability to create a life you love with everything you desire and more.

Have a great week!

How Our Beliefs Shape Our Interactions

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What is it that you’re believing, feeling, and thinking about yourself? If you don’t know, then getting to the bottom of this can be extraordinarily helpful when it comes to manifesting relationships!

The truth (for me) is, we interpret ALL situations through our beliefs – social, professional, financial, home, you name it. My anecdote today is based on relationships.

That we interpret situations through our beliefs is most obvious in cases of ambiguity, where another person’s feelings and intentions remain unspoken. We’re left to fill in the blank about what might be going through their mind… and that’s not always a great thing, if your self-talk is not based in kindness. If you believe negative things about yourself, you’ll often project these onto other people. This projection in turn can cause them to push away from you – it’s a vicious cycle of belief, projection, reception. Let me give you an example.

Almost exactly one year ago, I went to a meditation led by a spiritual teacher who is popular in my area. It was completely happenstance, and I had no idea what to expect. The meditation was powerful and fun. I spoke to this person who led it before and after the meditation. I felt an instant, magnetic attraction to him. I loved his smile and the way he went in for a hug before telling me goodnight.

I handed him my business card since that had my phone number on it, and I decided to leave the interpretation of that gesture up to him. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted with him, but since I felt that chemistry, I was willing to find out.

To my very pleasant surprise, I received a message from him the next day, asking if we could meet up. He sent me the address to a beautiful lake house, and I made my way to him.

It was clear through his energy that he felt attracted to me. We had a nice time together. I listened to him play the guitar and we chatted for a while. But after that day, he went back to touring and didn’t contact me anymore. He never spoke of his thoughts or feelings toward me that day or afterward. I didn’t know if he wanted to be friends, lovers, nothing…? If he was just curious? I assumed he didn’t have interest anymore after meeting me, or he was disappointed by me somehow.

I assumed I had messed everything up, and I felt quite depressed about this for a long time. I never entertained positive possibilities, such as:

  • He may have felt afraid of how strong the attraction was.
  • Maybe he liked me, but his life was too hectic for him to feel he had anything to offer me. He didn’t want to get my hopes up.
  • He could have already been in another relationship. This was not ideal, but still better than me not being good enough.
  • Maybe I didn’t like him as much as I thought, and I just wanted him to reach out so that I could feel validated. (Ouch… but I’m being honest!) Intuitively, he could have picked up on that.

Instead, I was looking at myself critically and thinking if only I had done something different, maybe things would have turned out better. I was also angry at him for his lack of communication. I thought of the beach house and the beauty of that day, the electricity in the air from our energies first recognizing one another the night before it. It felt horrible, when I felt as though all of it had slipped away from me because of some failing on my part. I went back and forth between anger at myself and anger at him. Since I’ve been studying the LOA more over the last year, I had to come to terms with the fact that I attracted this situation – the good and the bad.

My core belief about myself at that time was that I was not enough. I saw the situation only through that lens. Some of my favorite LOA teachers say that everything in life is neutral and is only “activated” by the meaning you give it. In the absence of a very clear meaning for this man no longer contacting me, I assigned the situation a negative interpretation.

I felt bad about that memory for a year after it occurred. I am not blaming myself for feeling this way, and I no longer wish that things had gone differently. I am acknowledging what I held as truth at the time and seeing how that could have influenced the situation, made it turn out the way it did. People, whether intuitively gifted or not, can unwittingly pick up on how we feel about ourselves. It influences the way they treat us, for better or for worse.

Now that I am coming into a much more positive view of myself, I am seeing these other possibilities. Yet I have found through my shifting that I no longer have an interest in this man. That can happen as you raise your vibration. As you shift, it’s natural to change your mind about the things or relationships you want. Even if you don’t change your mind, it’s a wonderful sign if you come to a state of relaxation about the situation or person you want in your life. This helps you to detach and allow the universe to orchestrate things for your desired outcome.

Now, with other people I enjoy, I have become much more conscious of my underlying thoughts and am able to shift them more easily, if needed. I have been working on my self-love and self-worth a lot over the past year. In cases where things are open-ended, I direct my thoughts toward the good possibilities. Just about one hundred percent of the time, my relationships with these people improve as a result.

For instance, if a friend does not return my call or e-mail, I think to myself, “I am sure he’s busy and will get back to me when he has time. He wants to communicate when he can focus and give me his undivided attention.” (The old way was to assume I had done something wrong and believe that person would never contact me again.)

I do not cling to the positive thoughts for dear life or feel desperate to get a response. I am not trying to convince myself that everything is okay so that I can feel better. I already feel good. It is not a means to an end. I don’t need the people I love to validate me anymore. It’s nice when they do, but I don’t feel debilitated and worthless if they don’t.

I already feel okay exactly as I am, which is key. I let go or distract myself after feeling this positive emotion, this acceptance. In this way, I have often found that the person in my mind reaches out to me within 24 hours or less.

The more ambiguous or open-ended a situation, the easier it can be to direct the energy toward a positive outcome. This is especially true if you can exercise self-love and self-worth. It is still possible in cases where a relationship or situation has become difficult or you and your person no longer speak. It can be harder to shift the energy when that is the case, since we tend to hold on to the negative memories and fear that unwanted situations will repeat. This is why I would suggest using LOA to shift ambiguous situations into positive ones first. You’ll want to prove to yourself that you can really do it, before you try this method on a more difficult situation or person.

What might have happened, if I had gone home from the lake house feeling reassured and strong within myself, rather than doubting and worrying whether this person would call me? Well, I don’t know, and it truly doesn’t matter. The outcome may have been slightly different, but now, I don’t feel that the attraction to him ran as deeply as I thought it did when we met. I am glad this happened because if it had not, I might not be writing this blog now. Now I am intending that I am done with learning hard and heartbreaking lessons through how others treat me, because I know how to treat myself with love and respect. Now I can manifest with the people who are truly meant to be in my heart.

If you have noticed painful patterns repeating in your relationships, take a look at your core beliefs about yourself. Where does your mind go when someone’s intentions toward you are left unclear? Do you automatically go to doubt and fear, or can you relax into who you are and what you know?

Please know I am here to help and always wishing the best for you.

Every Day (More Thoughts on Faith)

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Since I wrote a post about faith earlier in the week, I’ve had a few more thoughts about this subject come through and wanted to share them. I know they will reach whoever it is that needs them right now. I have faith in that!

I don’t mean faith in a religious sense, but if that is what appeals to you and the spin you want to put on this, by all means. I mean faith in a sense that you believe life has a purpose and that purpose is something better than you expected. I also mean faith in a happy love story with your twin flame, the law of attraction working positively for you, or whatever it is that makes you feel better when you think of it. Whatever it is that encourages you and keeps you going in your darkest, loneliest moments. Whatever that is for you, that’s what I’m talking about.

Every day, we are given a reason why we shouldn’t have faith. A reason why any doubt we may feel is valid. A sense that what we want will never work out.

Every day, we are introduced to a person who doesn’t believe as we do, or who disrespects our beliefs in some way, whether that is by mocking us or outright telling us all the reasons we’re wrong or crazy to have faith. Some might even say we’re “living in denial.” Some might not say anything, but you can feel it in their energy.

Every day, most of us log in to social media and see a barrage of negativity in the form of news articles meant to produce mass fear and people who want to add fear on top of fear or hurt others to the degree that they’ve been hurt.

Every day, we have to choose whether we will keep faith or go back into the shadows of doubt, fear, and confusion. Whether we will stay the course that feels true to our hearts, even when all physical evidence seems to suggest we’re “living in denial,” or whether we will take another path that makes us feel uneasy, like we’re sinking, or like something is missing. Whether we will continue on in a way that leaves room for the most wonderful and unexpected miracles, or put our heads down and block out all possibilities of wonder, peace, and excitement.

Am I physically together and in a relationship with my twin flame? No. Am I working at the job of my dreams? No. Am I making money with my writing? No (okay, this is actually a tiny lie… I am making some).

Do I believe there is a reason for all these “failures” and that they are setting me up for a future beyond my wildest dreams? You bet! As a bonus, they have been strengthening my faith and ability to consciously use the LOA. When you want to build your muscles, at first, maybe you feel like you’re going to die, or you feel like a joke when you can’t hold up a two-pound weight. It’s when you work through that pain and embarrassment and refuse to give up that you get anywhere! If you threw down the dumbbells as easily as you throw down your faith, or you curled up in despair every time someone teased you, nothing would change.

At first, my faith was more a soft entertainment of certain ideas. It was a nice, gentle thought to fall asleep to. Some days, that’s the most it can be, especially if my mood has dipped.

If you go looking for it, you’ll find all kinds of material and “proof” that speaks against law of attraction, twin flames, spirituality in general. If you want to add fuel to the fire of your doubts, you can always find it. You can always choose that.

But you can also choose to give sunlight and water to what brings you peace, what feels like a healing balm on your weary soul. You can tune in to energies that uplift you or soothe you.

Life is about what you choose. If you want to choose a life drastically different from the one you’ve lived in the past, it’s probably going to require a bit of faith. Or a lot of faith. It’s going to require you to open yourself to the possibility of a beautiful present and future – not just say you’re open and bitterly wonder why the new isn’t here yet, but really be open while in a state of peace and curiosity. Remain open in the face of doubt, fear, naysayers, and events that seem negative.

Faith is a choice. If our beliefs in the goodness/purpose of our lives as humans were proven by science, faith wouldn’t be necessary.

Every day, there will always be some new reason why we “shouldn’t” have faith. A new fear-mongering article. Another person talking about how their twin flame is a dirtbag. Another way you feel inadequate and unworthy of what you desire.

It’s easy to give these things a lot of air time in your brain and reaffirm them all the time. It’s not easy (at least, not at first) to have faith in something better. It’s not easy to let go of your fear.

I spent the first twenty-three years of my life in misery and hopelessness. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. If faith had been easy for me, I wouldn’t be writing this now. But I am writing to show it can be done. You can choose to believe that life is good, or that it’s about love, or miracles, or composing a masterpiece, or literally whatever you want. The only reason it doesn’t seem to be about that yet is because you aren’t choosing it, or you aren’t unwavering in your choice. And I’m sure you have plenty of reasons why. I’m acknowledging it’s easy to get off track. I’m admitting that faith isn’t the easiest path for most of you reading this.

The more you practice it, the easier it will become.

I see you out there, the light flickering unsteadily in your heart while you teeter on the edge of despair and wonder if you should just go back there. It’s familiar territory, you reason. There is more proof that it is right, you say. This is more acceptable to people and less weird, you think.

I have never seen one scientifically proven way to live life for guaranteed results in every category, so I am going out on a limb and choosing what feels best to me. Why? Because it helps me sleep at night. Because it gets me up in the morning. Because in the first twenty-three years of my life, I never knew peace like this. Because I have met a lot of gifted and kind people through my faith, and they have lit the path for me when it got dark. Because my relationships have improved. Because I’ve started to bring in more income. Because my writing has become stronger and more genuine than ever before. I could go on…

It’s all because I realized that every day, I choose, and I became conscious of what I am choosing.

I also read success stories of people who are happily with their twin flame and working with the LOA to make all their other dreams come true.

I reach out to people who inspire me.

I give myself space to feel down and know I will come back up when I’m ready.

I think about my faith and feel grateful for it. I feel grateful for the people who encourage me when I’m low on my faith.

Every day.