Living As If – It’s Simpler Than You Think

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“Living as if” has been one of those LOA concepts that was always unclear to me.

If you live as if you’re a millionaire, does that mean you’re supposed to go on a shopping spree with your credit cards? Then you sit back and know that the money to pay your bill will come in before your balance becomes past due? If you live as if you already have the relationship you desire, does that mean you can never flirt with anyone else? That you should never bask in the attention of another suitor?

I’ve come to understand this concept in a new way this year, and I want to share my take on it. As a result of living this way, life has become more relaxed. Negative thoughts aren’t as big of a deal as they used to be. And it works!

Living as if isn’t about doing anything that is outside your comfort zone to prove that you are in alignment with your desire. Let’s throw out the idea that we ever have to do anything to prove to the universe that we’re in alignment or deserving.

Alignment is about your ability to feel good and at peace. If you care about how you feel and make your peace a priority, then alignment will come more naturally to you. As far as deserving goes – abundance, love, joy, and peace are our birthright. While some of us may not have come into this life choosing those things, no one person is any more or less deserving of them than another.

In the example of attracting financial abundance, I would try thinking more from the perspective of someone who has been a millionaire for quite some time. If I had been a millionaire for years, and this was my life now, I wouldn’t go on big spending binges or shopping sprees often. Yes, I know that might sound strange. For some of you, maybe retail therapy is your love language to yourself, but it is not mine. Even if it is your language, making a subtle shift first is all it takes to move into this mindset of abundance and create that reality for yourself.

Instead, I would be mindful of the small, day-to-day thoughts I have about money. I would shift my thoughts toward the perspective of having been a millionaire for several years. In that reality, I wouldn’t feel guilty about spending a little extra for a healthy meal that I don’t have to cook myself. I wouldn’t feel concerned about taking money out of my savings account for home repairs or a down payment on a new car. These are all necessary things that add quality to my life.

When a company party came up, and the boss asked everyone to contribute $15 for a small gift, I wouldn’t grumble about that. I wouldn’t feel burdened by it. What’s $15 to a millionaire?

You don’t need to go out of your way or make big purchases that will stress you out later. If you could simply attach less worry to these things that come up in your day-to-day, that would make a huge difference. It’s true that money can’t buy love, but it can eliminate a whole lot of sleepless nights and headaches. Therefore, abundance feels like peace. What other words come to mind when you think of a life where you can always provide for yourself (and have fun, too)?

They key is making small, simple shifts that feel good. It’s not about the dollar amounts you spend or making some grand gesture to prove you’re a different person. Lining up with your more desired version of you is about what you’re thinking in each moment. It’s not only about what you’re doing, but the energy behind those actions. It is better not to take actions that will draw your attention to when and how the windfall is going to come. That puts you in a state of noticing and reaffirming that it’s not here yet, which only attracts more of that reality.

Ask yourself some questions about how you’re spending your day presently. What would be different about that if you were already living your desired reality? “For starters, I wouldn’t go to work!” you might say. Yes, that’s a very good point. You can still go to work without attaching so much importance to the negativity you feel about it. Think about what would make your job more bearable. It is okay if you can’t quite imagine yourself at your dream job or never having to work. Experiencing negative feelings and unwanted manifestations doesn’t have to be a big deal. It is only the importance you attach to them that creates “blocks.”

If you had the relationship you desire, would you be checking your phone throughout the day? Would you scroll through Facebook for hours? This is a nervous habit that many people have, this desire to “check up” on things. When the present reality is far from your desired one, it is better to ignore it as much as possible. Scrolling through your phone to check for signs of your manifestation – or checking anything external for confirmation – is not the best idea. And it’s not living as if.

Should you enjoy the attentions of others or date other people if there is a specific relationship you want to manifest? On the one hand, I feel it is a good idea because it can boost your self-esteem. On the other hand, it may only make you more aware that the person you truly love is absent. These are potentials that you must weigh for yourself. There are no universal rules in manifesting, and there are no limits. It all comes down to your beliefs and feelings. Your truths.

As always, I believe in you. I know you have the ability to create a life you love with everything you desire and more.

Have a great week!

Every Day (More Thoughts on Faith)

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Since I wrote a post about faith earlier in the week, I’ve had a few more thoughts about this subject come through and wanted to share them. I know they will reach whoever it is that needs them right now. I have faith in that!

I don’t mean faith in a religious sense, but if that is what appeals to you and the spin you want to put on this, by all means. I mean faith in a sense that you believe life has a purpose and that purpose is something better than you expected. I also mean faith in a happy love story with your twin flame, the law of attraction working positively for you, or whatever it is that makes you feel better when you think of it. Whatever it is that encourages you and keeps you going in your darkest, loneliest moments. Whatever that is for you, that’s what I’m talking about.

Every day, we are given a reason why we shouldn’t have faith. A reason why any doubt we may feel is valid. A sense that what we want will never work out.

Every day, we are introduced to a person who doesn’t believe as we do, or who disrespects our beliefs in some way, whether that is by mocking us or outright telling us all the reasons we’re wrong or crazy to have faith. Some might even say we’re “living in denial.” Some might not say anything, but you can feel it in their energy.

Every day, most of us log in to social media and see a barrage of negativity in the form of news articles meant to produce mass fear and people who want to add fear on top of fear or hurt others to the degree that they’ve been hurt.

Every day, we have to choose whether we will keep faith or go back into the shadows of doubt, fear, and confusion. Whether we will stay the course that feels true to our hearts, even when all physical evidence seems to suggest we’re “living in denial,” or whether we will take another path that makes us feel uneasy, like we’re sinking, or like something is missing. Whether we will continue on in a way that leaves room for the most wonderful and unexpected miracles, or put our heads down and block out all possibilities of wonder, peace, and excitement.

Am I physically together and in a relationship with my twin flame? No. Am I working at the job of my dreams? No. Am I making money with my writing? No (okay, this is actually a tiny lie… I am making some).

Do I believe there is a reason for all these “failures” and that they are setting me up for a future beyond my wildest dreams? You bet! As a bonus, they have been strengthening my faith and ability to consciously use the LOA. When you want to build your muscles, at first, maybe you feel like you’re going to die, or you feel like a joke when you can’t hold up a two-pound weight. It’s when you work through that pain and embarrassment and refuse to give up that you get anywhere! If you threw down the dumbbells as easily as you throw down your faith, or you curled up in despair every time someone teased you, nothing would change.

At first, my faith was more a soft entertainment of certain ideas. It was a nice, gentle thought to fall asleep to. Some days, that’s the most it can be, especially if my mood has dipped.

If you go looking for it, you’ll find all kinds of material and “proof” that speaks against law of attraction, twin flames, spirituality in general. If you want to add fuel to the fire of your doubts, you can always find it. You can always choose that.

But you can also choose to give sunlight and water to what brings you peace, what feels like a healing balm on your weary soul. You can tune in to energies that uplift you or soothe you.

Life is about what you choose. If you want to choose a life drastically different from the one you’ve lived in the past, it’s probably going to require a bit of faith. Or a lot of faith. It’s going to require you to open yourself to the possibility of a beautiful present and future – not just say you’re open and bitterly wonder why the new isn’t here yet, but really be open while in a state of peace and curiosity. Remain open in the face of doubt, fear, naysayers, and events that seem negative.

Faith is a choice. If our beliefs in the goodness/purpose of our lives as humans were proven by science, faith wouldn’t be necessary.

Every day, there will always be some new reason why we “shouldn’t” have faith. A new fear-mongering article. Another person talking about how their twin flame is a dirtbag. Another way you feel inadequate and unworthy of what you desire.

It’s easy to give these things a lot of air time in your brain and reaffirm them all the time. It’s not easy (at least, not at first) to have faith in something better. It’s not easy to let go of your fear.

I spent the first twenty-three years of my life in misery and hopelessness. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. If faith had been easy for me, I wouldn’t be writing this now. But I am writing to show it can be done. You can choose to believe that life is good, or that it’s about love, or miracles, or composing a masterpiece, or literally whatever you want. The only reason it doesn’t seem to be about that yet is because you aren’t choosing it, or you aren’t unwavering in your choice. And I’m sure you have plenty of reasons why. I’m acknowledging it’s easy to get off track. I’m admitting that faith isn’t the easiest path for most of you reading this.

The more you practice it, the easier it will become.

I see you out there, the light flickering unsteadily in your heart while you teeter on the edge of despair and wonder if you should just go back there. It’s familiar territory, you reason. There is more proof that it is right, you say. This is more acceptable to people and less weird, you think.

I have never seen one scientifically proven way to live life for guaranteed results in every category, so I am going out on a limb and choosing what feels best to me. Why? Because it helps me sleep at night. Because it gets me up in the morning. Because in the first twenty-three years of my life, I never knew peace like this. Because I have met a lot of gifted and kind people through my faith, and they have lit the path for me when it got dark. Because my relationships have improved. Because I’ve started to bring in more income. Because my writing has become stronger and more genuine than ever before. I could go on…

It’s all because I realized that every day, I choose, and I became conscious of what I am choosing.

I also read success stories of people who are happily with their twin flame and working with the LOA to make all their other dreams come true.

I reach out to people who inspire me.

I give myself space to feel down and know I will come back up when I’m ready.

I think about my faith and feel grateful for it. I feel grateful for the people who encourage me when I’m low on my faith.

Every day.

Twin Flames, Faith, & Other Love Interests or Suitors

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I wanted to share what I’ve learned on the above subject. It’s a little personal, and while I hope not to get too personal, it’s necessary to share some details.

If you resonate with twin flames and feel that connection with someone, then you probably also recognize that this journey is one of faith. Faith can easily be the most difficult aspect, because we are accustomed to looking for results on the outside before we make any shifts internally. As you understand more how reality works, you know this is backwards. It can lead us to go in circles and feel unable to shift a situation.

We are also presented with many tests on this path, some of them in the form of other love interests or suitors. I feel that this is the universe saying to me, “Will you take this chance to settle for less than what you want, or will you keep the faith?” Before I became more at peace with all of it, I felt the question was, “What’s wrong with you, that you can’t take these opportunities with other potentials?” It left me feeling hopeless, that I would be alone forever. I tried more than I should have to make some of these other opportunities work, at the expense of my deep sensitivities.

If you find yourself interested romantically or sexually in another person – first of all, that’s completely normal, and there is nothing wrong with it. But you might find, when that happens and especially if it’s rare, you’re attracted to the person because they have traits that remind you of your TF. When this has happened for me and I pursued it, my TF was always in the background of my thoughts.

It was him I really wanted, regardless of whether I could be happy with someone else. I found that these relationships naturally fell away or didn’t work out for whatever reason. It was never because I brought up my TF or seemed hung up on him in any way. Usually, it was the other person who wanted to end things.

As you work on yourself spiritually and raise your vibration, you’re going to be overwhelmed with people who want some of your energy, and many of them might put a romantic interpretation on this. It does not matter what you look like; raising your vibration can make you physically attractive. (I know people who have used law of attraction to lose weight and even look younger.) Not to mention, people will see the light in your heart and not all of them will have the best intentions – the problem is, they aren’t aware of this. They just see this beautiful, compassionate, caring person that you are, and they want to make you theirs somehow.

This can be confusing at first. When it happened for me, I wondered, “Where are these men coming from, and why so suddenly? Am I not being open enough to the opportunities the universe is giving me?” The truth was, I was attracted to none of them, and as I became more aware that they loved my compassion and care more than me as a person, I slowly backed away. Because of my gifts, I understood them and was able to make them feel seen, but this was often one-sided. I did not receive it in return. Some of them said that I treated them in a way that no other woman ever had – and this was simply because I listened to them and validated their feelings. While that is a shame that it’s not a more common occurrence in their lives, this did not equate to love. True love takes much more than this, and it must flow both ways in order for both parties to feel satisfied and healthy.

If you are not yet in alignment with TF union on all levels, please don’t feel guilty if you seem to be having many other chances for a partner, but you aren’t accepting them. If you experience many suitors and wonder whether to accept their offers of companionship, look carefully at the other person’s energy and intentions toward you.

Some questions you might ask yourself:

  1. Does my body tense up when this person talks to me?
  2. Does this person offer more problems than solutions?
  3. Does this person seem clingy, or like they want more than I can give them right now?
  4. Are they being patient and kind, or demanding and passive-aggressive? Does it seem like they make up problems to get my attention?

These questions are especially important for those of you who identify as empaths.

One such suitor in my life threatened suicide after I turned him down. This was after I had given the relationship an honest try, but he behaved in a way that hurt me. After he told me he wanted to die, I spent the rest of the day desperately trying to help him and called the suicide prevention line for him, since he wouldn’t call it himself. He suddenly stopped texting me and I feared the worst. For several months, I carried this in my heart, and then he reached out to me, out of the blue. I was so happy he was alive that I agreed to see him. It became apparent that he wanted more than I wanted to give him, but I felt afraid to say no again. He sensed that none of my heart was behind it and became angry with me. I eventually had to block him.

I knew I couldn’t help him, and even if I did love him, it wouldn’t change anything. He held on to the belief that life was hopeless and lonely. He held on to a deep dislike of humanity. I could not change these things for him. After working so hard on myself to emerge from my depression, I did not want to be around someone who could drag me back into my old ways of thinking and feeling.

Pay attention to your red flags, and don’t doubt yourself if you want to hold out for your true love. Remember that love is patient and kind. You will be a gentle healing agent to many in your lifetime, but you also deserve this in return. You deserve a partner who can be positive and strong for you as you are for him/her. You’ve done far too much work and gone too far just to go this far.

This is not even about “waiting” for your TF.

It’s about your faith that the universe has something wonderful in store for you.

Turn What Ails You Into Your Creation

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We all have that one “thing” that seems to stay on in the background of our minds, waiting to present itself when we feel inclined toward a more “down” mood – those times that we’re tired, had a rough day at work, had a bit too much to drink, and our defenses are down.

That “thing” tends to be something we see as unable to be resolved and can be related to a deep trauma – not receiving enough love as a child, or not being able to be close to the people we love most, for instance.

This “thing” is perfectly valid, and of course it makes you feel this way. Who wouldn’t want to stay in bed with all the blinds and curtains closed, or binge eat, or insert your coping mechanism here, with this “thing” hanging over you? There is no need to feel ashamed of how you’ve handled this before, but I want to help you go about your self-soothing process more intentionally. You can do this while planting seeds so that what you want becomes your reality. It may take some time, but your efforts will be well worth it and lead to a happier, healthier, more balanced you!

What if I told you it’s not really the “thing” you’re after, but the emotional state you believe you’ll achieve once you have it?

That’s why sometimes, getting a long-held desire fulfilled can be a bittersweet experience. It feels good, but at the same time, you might feel a bit like, “I could’ve survived, even if it didn’t happen. I even feel like I want a little more.”

Sometimes, we use the “thing” to withhold our own love and approval from ourselves, which sends us further spiraling into misery and defeat. I can’t tell you how many times I have been my own worst enemy when something I wanted didn’t seem to work out. I always blamed myself. “If I had been a better person, I would have gotten that.” “If I weren’t so shy, this would have happened.” “If I had worked harder, this would be done by now.”

Rather than confining yourself to your bedroom or reaching for your coping mechanism, I want you to get into the habit of imagining how it would feel to get that “thing” resolved, once and for all. You can have fun visualizing how this might happen to help you get into the feeling state you’re craving. One exercise that I enjoy doing is the “What If” exercise that I’ve seen most often used by people practicing law of attraction. For it to work, you must be willing to suspend your disbelief and skepticism for just a few minutes. Dismiss the past; what happened before doesn’t matter, because anything is possible when you’re feeling better and acting from a place of self-love, wanting the highest good of all involved in the situation.

You don’t have to do this for long stretches of time. Start small. It only takes 3-5 minutes for the exercise to create a good feeling state. Can’t do whole minutes? Seconds are fine, too. This is a skill that improves with practice. For best results, do this every day.

In the case of not being in a loved one’s life – what if this person reached out to you and struck up a conversation? If initiating contact is out of character for them, what if something happened in their life that made them realize just how much they care for you? Maybe they would apologize outright if that seems appropriate, or maybe they would just talk to you, ask what you’re up to, how you are. What if this person wanted to connect with you purely because they enjoy your company? What if this person realized your value to them? What if this conversation led to you seeing this person? What if you were able to stop dwelling on the absence of them in your life because they made the effort to be present? How nice would that feel?

When you stop to think about it, the what ifs don’t seem so outrageous. You’re a good person, and you care deeply for those you love. You’re learning to create by love, not fear, so the only way for things to go is up. Forget how you’ve done in the past. You’re creating from a new space now.

You can create your own “What Ifs” if these don’t work for you. There is no way to do the exercise incorrectly. Remember, the objective here is to improve your mood and create the feeling state of having the love, connection, peace, etc. that you desire. Nothing exists outside you. If the person you cared about really did reach out, they didn’t generate your feelings of joy and being loved for you. Those feelings came from inside you, in response to whatever the person did to show you they care.

Since you can generate any feeling for yourself with the aid of your imagination, what I’m suggesting is not to wait for the outside stimuli to trigger that response.

All it takes to create a difference and that strong current of positivity within yourself is a few seconds, preferably every day, or as often as you can.

Please give yourself permission to stop holding that “thing” over yourself, using it to berate yourself for any past mistakes or justify why you cannot love yourself. You can be the person you want to be right now. We’ve all done things we regret – it’s very human and part of why we’re here – but you have a chance to be the person you want to be immediately. All it takes is a shift in your mindset.