Last week, I wrote about the concept of default thoughts and shared a couple of personal anecdotes. While you may not relate to my experience, I hope I conveyed the concept and made it easier to understand.
Default negative thoughts can be ways of thinking you inherited from loved ones. They can also be from your own experiences that didn’t go well in the past. They can make solutions hard to see and keep you stuck in attracting the same unwanted outcomes.
These thoughts can also pop up in your twin flame connection. They may make you act in ways that are contrary to your heart’s desire, and this can keep you stuck in unwanted cycles. I wanted to address them again, from this aspect. I will share my personal experience. If you do not relate to the specifics, there may still be something you can glean from it.
My biggest challenge on this path has been faith. I have found it hard to maintain a positive attitude about my desired outcome. I have found it difficult to believe that I can be in a loving relationship with someone I want in mind, body, and soul. Several times, I have had the option to settle for something less than what I wish for and deserve. I had this lingering feeling of: “This will never happen, so I am going to explore this other thing instead. I am going to try to force this other thing to be as good as what I actually want.”
Sometimes these options have come in physically desirable packages with lovely accents. They provided a distraction from the things in my life that I didn’t want to see or feel. Eventually, I reached a point where I didn’t want a distraction. I was ready for something deeper and more authentic.
I reached a point where I didn’t want a distraction. I was ready for something deeper and more authentic.
When I got to know these men more, I came up against traits that don’t mesh well with my soft-spoken and gentle nature. I found that they bored easily, that they didn’t like a calm life and always needed some kind of drama unfolding. I found that they held strong opinions and brushed off my own ideas and feelings. They didn’t listen to me. I felt like I wasn’t enough for them. My lack of self-love pushed me to attach to these men more, to chase them for a time. To do all I could for even a glimmer of the passion in their glance when at first, all was carefree and fun between us.
I wanted my twin flame and all his amazing traits. I wanted the way he looks at me. I wanted the way he loves me. I was looking for him in connections with men I didn’t truly love or even admire, once I got to know them better.
I’ve come to realize that I had a lot of default thoughts. These worked against my ability to attract my desire. I was also attracting the right types of people to bring up these beliefs. My twin wasn’t right for helping me to work on these, because nothing about his nature reinforces any of the following:
True love is difficult to come by.
A relationship where two people are in love and stay that way is very rare.
I must be someone other than myself to attract and keep a man.
I’m not beautiful.
I have to jump on the first opportunity that seems like it could work out.
When put together and all spelled out, these can sound obvious. It may seem like I was slacking on my inner work. However, these are programs that run in the background. They can be difficult to notice, because they’re so ingrained. I picked them up from watching how women around me behaved. I watched how their significant others treated them. I picked up their negative self-talk.
I was not always conscious of this from moment to moment. It was more when I looked back on my experiences and started to put things together that I became aware of them.
This is why affirmations, hypnosis, or meditations to change your innermost beliefs and/or generate positive feelings can be so beneficial. You must repeat the beliefs conducive to the reality you want to live. Repetition helps you believe. It is important that you do not give too much attention to things that can pull you back into the reality you don’t want. If you do this by accident, you can always correct your course as soon as you become aware. If this takes a few tries, don’t worry about it. Shifting deep-seated beliefs can be a bit like trying to clean gunk off something in your house that has never been cleaned. It takes repetitive motions and elbow grease!
You must repeat the beliefs conducive to the reality you want to live. Repetition helps you believe.
If you find yourself drawn into less desirable realities, or in connections that aren’t right for you, you can trust. Trust that there is something to become aware of from these experiences. Trust that the love between you and your twin flame is unconditional. There is nothing you can do to mess up the connection. You cannot ruin your chances of a happy relationship with the one you love. Any belief you hold that is contrary to this can be shifted.