Living As If – It’s Simpler Than You Think

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“Living as if” has been one of those LOA concepts that was always unclear to me.

If you live as if you’re a millionaire, does that mean you’re supposed to go on a shopping spree with your credit cards? Then you sit back and know that the money to pay your bill will come in before your balance becomes past due? If you live as if you already have the relationship you desire, does that mean you can never flirt with anyone else? That you should never bask in the attention of another suitor?

I’ve come to understand this concept in a new way this year, and I want to share my take on it. As a result of living this way, life has become more relaxed. Negative thoughts aren’t as big of a deal as they used to be. And it works!

Living as if isn’t about doing anything that is outside your comfort zone to prove that you are in alignment with your desire. Let’s throw out the idea that we ever have to do anything to prove to the universe that we’re in alignment or deserving.

Alignment is about your ability to feel good and at peace. If you care about how you feel and make your peace a priority, then alignment will come more naturally to you. As far as deserving goes – abundance, love, joy, and peace are our birthright. While some of us may not have come into this life choosing those things, no one person is any more or less deserving of them than another.

In the example of attracting financial abundance, I would try thinking more from the perspective of someone who has been a millionaire for quite some time. If I had been a millionaire for years, and this was my life now, I wouldn’t go on big spending binges or shopping sprees often. Yes, I know that might sound strange. For some of you, maybe retail therapy is your love language to yourself, but it is not mine. Even if it is your language, making a subtle shift first is all it takes to move into this mindset of abundance and create that reality for yourself.

Instead, I would be mindful of the small, day-to-day thoughts I have about money. I would shift my thoughts toward the perspective of having been a millionaire for several years. In that reality, I wouldn’t feel guilty about spending a little extra for a healthy meal that I don’t have to cook myself. I wouldn’t feel concerned about taking money out of my savings account for home repairs or a down payment on a new car. These are all necessary things that add quality to my life.

When a company party came up, and the boss asked everyone to contribute $15 for a small gift, I wouldn’t grumble about that. I wouldn’t feel burdened by it. What’s $15 to a millionaire?

You don’t need to go out of your way or make big purchases that will stress you out later. If you could simply attach less worry to these things that come up in your day-to-day, that would make a huge difference. It’s true that money can’t buy love, but it can eliminate a whole lot of sleepless nights and headaches. Therefore, abundance feels like peace. What other words come to mind when you think of a life where you can always provide for yourself (and have fun, too)?

They key is making small, simple shifts that feel good. It’s not about the dollar amounts you spend or making some grand gesture to prove you’re a different person. Lining up with your more desired version of you is about what you’re thinking in each moment. It’s not only about what you’re doing, but the energy behind those actions. It is better not to take actions that will draw your attention to when and how the windfall is going to come. That puts you in a state of noticing and reaffirming that it’s not here yet, which only attracts more of that reality.

Ask yourself some questions about how you’re spending your day presently. What would be different about that if you were already living your desired reality? “For starters, I wouldn’t go to work!” you might say. Yes, that’s a very good point. You can still go to work without attaching so much importance to the negativity you feel about it. Think about what would make your job more bearable. It is okay if you can’t quite imagine yourself at your dream job or never having to work. Experiencing negative feelings and unwanted manifestations doesn’t have to be a big deal. It is only the importance you attach to them that creates “blocks.”

If you had the relationship you desire, would you be checking your phone throughout the day? Would you scroll through Facebook for hours? This is a nervous habit that many people have, this desire to “check up” on things. When the present reality is far from your desired one, it is better to ignore it as much as possible. Scrolling through your phone to check for signs of your manifestation – or checking anything external for confirmation – is not the best idea. And it’s not living as if.

Should you enjoy the attentions of others or date other people if there is a specific relationship you want to manifest? On the one hand, I feel it is a good idea because it can boost your self-esteem. On the other hand, it may only make you more aware that the person you truly love is absent. These are potentials that you must weigh for yourself. There are no universal rules in manifesting, and there are no limits. It all comes down to your beliefs and feelings. Your truths.

As always, I believe in you. I know you have the ability to create a life you love with everything you desire and more.

Have a great week!

How Our Beliefs Shape Our Interactions

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What is it that you’re believing, feeling, and thinking about yourself? If you don’t know, then getting to the bottom of this can be extraordinarily helpful when it comes to manifesting relationships!

The truth (for me) is, we interpret ALL situations through our beliefs – social, professional, financial, home, you name it. My anecdote today is based on relationships.

That we interpret situations through our beliefs is most obvious in cases of ambiguity, where another person’s feelings and intentions remain unspoken. We’re left to fill in the blank about what might be going through their mind… and that’s not always a great thing, if your self-talk is not based in kindness. If you believe negative things about yourself, you’ll often project these onto other people. This projection in turn can cause them to push away from you – it’s a vicious cycle of belief, projection, reception. Let me give you an example.

Almost exactly one year ago, I went to a meditation led by a spiritual teacher who is popular in my area. It was completely happenstance, and I had no idea what to expect. The meditation was powerful and fun. I spoke to this person who led it before and after the meditation. I felt an instant, magnetic attraction to him. I loved his smile and the way he went in for a hug before telling me goodnight.

I handed him my business card since that had my phone number on it, and I decided to leave the interpretation of that gesture up to him. To be honest, I wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted with him, but since I felt that chemistry, I was willing to find out.

To my very pleasant surprise, I received a message from him the next day, asking if we could meet up. He sent me the address to a beautiful lake house, and I made my way to him.

It was clear through his energy that he felt attracted to me. We had a nice time together. I listened to him play the guitar and we chatted for a while. But after that day, he went back to touring and didn’t contact me anymore. He never spoke of his thoughts or feelings toward me that day or afterward. I didn’t know if he wanted to be friends, lovers, nothing…? If he was just curious? I assumed he didn’t have interest anymore after meeting me, or he was disappointed by me somehow.

I assumed I had messed everything up, and I felt quite depressed about this for a long time. I never entertained positive possibilities, such as:

  • He may have felt afraid of how strong the attraction was.
  • Maybe he liked me, but his life was too hectic for him to feel he had anything to offer me. He didn’t want to get my hopes up.
  • He could have already been in another relationship. This was not ideal, but still better than me not being good enough.
  • Maybe I didn’t like him as much as I thought, and I just wanted him to reach out so that I could feel validated. (Ouch… but I’m being honest!) Intuitively, he could have picked up on that.

Instead, I was looking at myself critically and thinking if only I had done something different, maybe things would have turned out better. I was also angry at him for his lack of communication. I thought of the beach house and the beauty of that day, the electricity in the air from our energies first recognizing one another the night before it. It felt horrible, when I felt as though all of it had slipped away from me because of some failing on my part. I went back and forth between anger at myself and anger at him. Since I’ve been studying the LOA more over the last year, I had to come to terms with the fact that I attracted this situation – the good and the bad.

My core belief about myself at that time was that I was not enough. I saw the situation only through that lens. Some of my favorite LOA teachers say that everything in life is neutral and is only “activated” by the meaning you give it. In the absence of a very clear meaning for this man no longer contacting me, I assigned the situation a negative interpretation.

I felt bad about that memory for a year after it occurred. I am not blaming myself for feeling this way, and I no longer wish that things had gone differently. I am acknowledging what I held as truth at the time and seeing how that could have influenced the situation, made it turn out the way it did. People, whether intuitively gifted or not, can unwittingly pick up on how we feel about ourselves. It influences the way they treat us, for better or for worse.

Now that I am coming into a much more positive view of myself, I am seeing these other possibilities. Yet I have found through my shifting that I no longer have an interest in this man. That can happen as you raise your vibration. As you shift, it’s natural to change your mind about the things or relationships you want. Even if you don’t change your mind, it’s a wonderful sign if you come to a state of relaxation about the situation or person you want in your life. This helps you to detach and allow the universe to orchestrate things for your desired outcome.

Now, with other people I enjoy, I have become much more conscious of my underlying thoughts and am able to shift them more easily, if needed. I have been working on my self-love and self-worth a lot over the past year. In cases where things are open-ended, I direct my thoughts toward the good possibilities. Just about one hundred percent of the time, my relationships with these people improve as a result.

For instance, if a friend does not return my call or e-mail, I think to myself, “I am sure he’s busy and will get back to me when he has time. He wants to communicate when he can focus and give me his undivided attention.” (The old way was to assume I had done something wrong and believe that person would never contact me again.)

I do not cling to the positive thoughts for dear life or feel desperate to get a response. I am not trying to convince myself that everything is okay so that I can feel better. I already feel good. It is not a means to an end. I don’t need the people I love to validate me anymore. It’s nice when they do, but I don’t feel debilitated and worthless if they don’t.

I already feel okay exactly as I am, which is key. I let go or distract myself after feeling this positive emotion, this acceptance. In this way, I have often found that the person in my mind reaches out to me within 24 hours or less.

The more ambiguous or open-ended a situation, the easier it can be to direct the energy toward a positive outcome. This is especially true if you can exercise self-love and self-worth. It is still possible in cases where a relationship or situation has become difficult or you and your person no longer speak. It can be harder to shift the energy when that is the case, since we tend to hold on to the negative memories and fear that unwanted situations will repeat. This is why I would suggest using LOA to shift ambiguous situations into positive ones first. You’ll want to prove to yourself that you can really do it, before you try this method on a more difficult situation or person.

What might have happened, if I had gone home from the lake house feeling reassured and strong within myself, rather than doubting and worrying whether this person would call me? Well, I don’t know, and it truly doesn’t matter. The outcome may have been slightly different, but now, I don’t feel that the attraction to him ran as deeply as I thought it did when we met. I am glad this happened because if it had not, I might not be writing this blog now. Now I am intending that I am done with learning hard and heartbreaking lessons through how others treat me, because I know how to treat myself with love and respect. Now I can manifest with the people who are truly meant to be in my heart.

If you have noticed painful patterns repeating in your relationships, take a look at your core beliefs about yourself. Where does your mind go when someone’s intentions toward you are left unclear? Do you automatically go to doubt and fear, or can you relax into who you are and what you know?

Please know I am here to help and always wishing the best for you.

Default Thoughts in a Twin Flame Connection

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Last week, I wrote about the concept of default thoughts and shared a couple of personal anecdotes. While you may not relate to my experience, I hope I conveyed the concept and made it easier to understand.
 
Default negative thoughts can be ways of thinking you inherited from loved ones. They can also be from your own experiences that didn’t go well in the past. They can make solutions hard to see and keep you stuck in attracting the same unwanted outcomes.
 
These thoughts can also pop up in your twin flame connection. They may make you act in ways that are contrary to your heart’s desire, and this can keep you stuck in unwanted cycles. I wanted to address them again, from this aspect. I will share my personal experience. If you do not relate to the specifics, there may still be something you can glean from it.
 
My biggest challenge on this path has been faith. I have found it hard to maintain a positive attitude about my desired outcome. I have found it difficult to believe that I can be in a loving relationship with someone I want in mind, body, and soul. Several times, I have had the option to settle for something less than what I wish for and deserve. I had this lingering feeling of: “This will never happen, so I am going to explore this other thing instead. I am going to try to force this other thing to be as good as what I actually want.”
 
Sometimes these options have come in physically desirable packages with lovely accents. They provided a distraction from the things in my life that I didn’t want to see or feel. Eventually, I reached a point where I didn’t want a distraction. I was ready for something deeper and more authentic.

I reached a point where I didn’t want a distraction. I was ready for something deeper and more authentic.

 
When I got to know these men more, I came up against traits that don’t mesh well with my soft-spoken and gentle nature. I found that they bored easily, that they didn’t like a calm life and always needed some kind of drama unfolding. I found that they held strong opinions and brushed off my own ideas and feelings. They didn’t listen to me. I felt like I wasn’t enough for them. My lack of self-love pushed me to attach to these men more, to chase them for a time. To do all I could for even a glimmer of the passion in their glance when at first, all was carefree and fun between us.
 
I wanted my twin flame and all his amazing traits. I wanted the way he looks at me. I wanted the way he loves me. I was looking for him in connections with men I didn’t truly love or even admire, once I got to know them better.
 
I’ve come to realize that I had a lot of default thoughts. These worked against my ability to attract my desire. I was also attracting the right types of people to bring up these beliefs. My twin wasn’t right for helping me to work on these, because nothing about his nature reinforces any of the following:
 
  • True love is difficult to come by.
  • A relationship where two people are in love and stay that way is very rare.
  • I must be someone other than myself to attract and keep a man.
  • I’m not beautiful.
  • I have to jump on the first opportunity that seems like it could work out.
 
When put together and all spelled out, these can sound obvious. It may seem like I was slacking on my inner work. However, these are programs that run in the background. They can be difficult to notice, because they’re so ingrained. I picked them up from watching how women around me behaved. I watched how their significant others treated them. I picked up their negative self-talk.
 
I was not always conscious of this from moment to moment. It was more when I looked back on my experiences and started to put things together that I became aware of them.
 
This is why affirmations, hypnosis, or meditations to change your innermost beliefs and/or generate positive feelings can be so beneficial. You must repeat the beliefs conducive to the reality you want to live. Repetition helps you believe. It is important that you do not give too much attention to things that can pull you back into the reality you don’t want. If you do this by accident, you can always correct your course as soon as you become aware. If this takes a few tries, don’t worry about it. Shifting deep-seated beliefs can be a bit like trying to clean gunk off something in your house that has never been cleaned. It takes repetitive motions and elbow grease!
 

You must repeat the beliefs conducive to the reality you want to live. Repetition helps you believe.

 

If you find yourself drawn into less desirable realities, or in connections that aren’t right for you, you can trust. Trust that there is something to become aware of from these experiences. Trust that the love between you and your twin flame is unconditional. There is nothing you can do to mess up the connection. You cannot ruin your chances of a happy relationship with the one you love. Any belief you hold that is contrary to this can be shifted.

Noticing Your “Default” Thoughts & Shifting to Better States

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Have you ever stopped to notice your “default” thought set toward something? These are thoughts you think when you’re not going about your life as consciously as you usually do, and they come up when your defenses are down. You may not even realize you’re vulnerable. It’s like being on auto-pilot.

No matter how deep you are into your spiritual journey, you can carry patterns of thoughts that your subconscious has soaked up from childhood and memories from your past. You carry traumas from the ways your heart has been broken before.

I recently moved into a home. Much of my default thought set was: “This is hard.” Another default thought: “This is lonely. I’m alone.” I have since realized that I inherited a lot of this from my mother. I saw her go through depression and loneliness, meanwhile finding the upkeep on her home impossible.

I’ve always rented because I enjoyed knowing that if something broke, the repair would be someone else’s responsibility. The idea of being solely responsible for an entire building full of switches, knobs, wires, and things I have no name for terrified me.

In my “default” mode, it also emphasized the idea that I have no man in my life. Now, I’ve put furniture together, done minor repairs/maintenance, and used tools, so I know I don’t need to rely on a man to do everything for me. But I’m talking about the sad thoughts that pop up and defy your rationality, the ones that nip at your more tender, heartbroken pieces when your defenses are down and no one is there to hug you.

On only Day 5 of being a homeowner, I was having a meltdown on my couch. Between learning I had to hire a trash company, that the city wouldn’t just magically pick up, and various other problems that seem much smaller in hindsight, life felt difficult. Impossible, even. I am sure much of this strong emotion had to do with not having a solid eating and sleeping schedule over the past week from being so busy.

There was a child’s playset in the backyard that came with the home. I think it was placed there by one of the owners before the one that sold it to me. There was no telling how long it had been there, unused. I have no children, and it was a weight on my brain every time I looked out of the window into my backyard. “How am I ever going to get rid of that?”

I had no way of knowing how to take it apart, no vehicle big enough to transport it. The only thing I could think of was, “I’m going to have to hire a junk company to come get it.”

That innocent little swingset and jungle gym seemed to mock me in my darker moments. “You own a home, but you don’t have a family. How sad!” More default thoughts that came to nip at me when I was feeling down and vulnerable.

After I accidentally shut off my a/c while trying to find my furnace filter and freaked out because I was afraid I had broken it, I called a friend. I called her and let out my verbal diarrhea about the playset, the a/c, the trash, everything. I told her I had been crying pretty much non-stop the entire day. She soothed me by telling me that she had done the same thing after buying her house, and she suggested Facebook Marketplace for the playset. She said, “List it for free. Someone will be willing to come take it apart and transport it.”

The idea that this was a nice swingset and outdoor area for children hadn’t occurred to me so much when I was thinking about my problem. I was only thinking about the “get rid of it because it is taunting you” part, not the “someone will want this and I can do something nice for them” part.

I desperately needed to buy groceries. (I’d eaten watermelon and animal crackers for dinner the night before.) I logged into Facebook and posted pictures of the playset on Marketplace, then forgot about it and went to get food.

After I was done shopping about an hour later, I had three messages already, asking me if the set was still available. I replied to the first person who had messaged, and she wanted to come look at it right away. Less than 24 hours later, her son had loaded it into his truck and it was going to her grandchildren. I felt like I had done something good, and it had been so easy for me. Literally all I did was give permission for them to go into my backyard, dismantle the set and load it into their car.

It had taken less than a day to solve that “problem.”

Now I have a whole backyard, free and clear, ready for whatever I want to do with it, and that family has a new way for their children to play and have fun!

But it wouldn’t have been that easy if I wasn’t open to a shift in perspective. If I was absolutely unmoved in how I saw that situation, then the outcome of hiring a junk company to come haul it off would have come true. Thank goodness, I realized it could be easy.

It was a good thing that I broke down enough to call a friend. Sometimes we need to let others be witnesses to our not-so-fine moments. They can give us perspectives that we alone cannot access.

I know this is hard – I have a huge block when it comes to asking for help. But I’ve always found that the Universe will push you to ask for help when you’re truly ready for it. And it might be in the form of a mental breakdown brought on by a diet of watermelon and animal crackers.

Whatever it is, trust it! Default thoughts can be hard to break through. They can be statements and images that play in the background of your brain. My mother once wrote to me about how her refrigerator and DVD player had broken in the same week. It happened during a week that she was particularly sad about something in her life. She said, “These things have a way of happening when you feel least capable of dealing with them.” That statement has always stuck with me, and I know I made it a part of my truth for a time. I always thought of her, had that image of her lonely in her house, sad, unable to tend to things that needed attention. Unable to spend money to fix them.

It’s no one’s “fault,” certainly no wrong-doing on my mother’s part as she was just living her life as she knew how to live it. For me, it was just a trauma that seeped into my heart. It was a way of struggling that I had learned as the only way, until I asked for help.

Now it’s on the way out, and I know I will be all right. I feel lucky to have this house, and this house is lucky to have me.

What are some of your default thoughts? How do they play into your deepest fears? I hope I have helped you to notice them and start shifting them. 🖤

Every Day (More Thoughts on Faith)

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Since I wrote a post about faith earlier in the week, I’ve had a few more thoughts about this subject come through and wanted to share them. I know they will reach whoever it is that needs them right now. I have faith in that!

I don’t mean faith in a religious sense, but if that is what appeals to you and the spin you want to put on this, by all means. I mean faith in a sense that you believe life has a purpose and that purpose is something better than you expected. I also mean faith in a happy love story with your twin flame, the law of attraction working positively for you, or whatever it is that makes you feel better when you think of it. Whatever it is that encourages you and keeps you going in your darkest, loneliest moments. Whatever that is for you, that’s what I’m talking about.

Every day, we are given a reason why we shouldn’t have faith. A reason why any doubt we may feel is valid. A sense that what we want will never work out.

Every day, we are introduced to a person who doesn’t believe as we do, or who disrespects our beliefs in some way, whether that is by mocking us or outright telling us all the reasons we’re wrong or crazy to have faith. Some might even say we’re “living in denial.” Some might not say anything, but you can feel it in their energy.

Every day, most of us log in to social media and see a barrage of negativity in the form of news articles meant to produce mass fear and people who want to add fear on top of fear or hurt others to the degree that they’ve been hurt.

Every day, we have to choose whether we will keep faith or go back into the shadows of doubt, fear, and confusion. Whether we will stay the course that feels true to our hearts, even when all physical evidence seems to suggest we’re “living in denial,” or whether we will take another path that makes us feel uneasy, like we’re sinking, or like something is missing. Whether we will continue on in a way that leaves room for the most wonderful and unexpected miracles, or put our heads down and block out all possibilities of wonder, peace, and excitement.

Am I physically together and in a relationship with my twin flame? No. Am I working at the job of my dreams? No. Am I making money with my writing? No (okay, this is actually a tiny lie… I am making some).

Do I believe there is a reason for all these “failures” and that they are setting me up for a future beyond my wildest dreams? You bet! As a bonus, they have been strengthening my faith and ability to consciously use the LOA. When you want to build your muscles, at first, maybe you feel like you’re going to die, or you feel like a joke when you can’t hold up a two-pound weight. It’s when you work through that pain and embarrassment and refuse to give up that you get anywhere! If you threw down the dumbbells as easily as you throw down your faith, or you curled up in despair every time someone teased you, nothing would change.

At first, my faith was more a soft entertainment of certain ideas. It was a nice, gentle thought to fall asleep to. Some days, that’s the most it can be, especially if my mood has dipped.

If you go looking for it, you’ll find all kinds of material and “proof” that speaks against law of attraction, twin flames, spirituality in general. If you want to add fuel to the fire of your doubts, you can always find it. You can always choose that.

But you can also choose to give sunlight and water to what brings you peace, what feels like a healing balm on your weary soul. You can tune in to energies that uplift you or soothe you.

Life is about what you choose. If you want to choose a life drastically different from the one you’ve lived in the past, it’s probably going to require a bit of faith. Or a lot of faith. It’s going to require you to open yourself to the possibility of a beautiful present and future – not just say you’re open and bitterly wonder why the new isn’t here yet, but really be open while in a state of peace and curiosity. Remain open in the face of doubt, fear, naysayers, and events that seem negative.

Faith is a choice. If our beliefs in the goodness/purpose of our lives as humans were proven by science, faith wouldn’t be necessary.

Every day, there will always be some new reason why we “shouldn’t” have faith. A new fear-mongering article. Another person talking about how their twin flame is a dirtbag. Another way you feel inadequate and unworthy of what you desire.

It’s easy to give these things a lot of air time in your brain and reaffirm them all the time. It’s not easy (at least, not at first) to have faith in something better. It’s not easy to let go of your fear.

I spent the first twenty-three years of my life in misery and hopelessness. I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. If faith had been easy for me, I wouldn’t be writing this now. But I am writing to show it can be done. You can choose to believe that life is good, or that it’s about love, or miracles, or composing a masterpiece, or literally whatever you want. The only reason it doesn’t seem to be about that yet is because you aren’t choosing it, or you aren’t unwavering in your choice. And I’m sure you have plenty of reasons why. I’m acknowledging it’s easy to get off track. I’m admitting that faith isn’t the easiest path for most of you reading this.

The more you practice it, the easier it will become.

I see you out there, the light flickering unsteadily in your heart while you teeter on the edge of despair and wonder if you should just go back there. It’s familiar territory, you reason. There is more proof that it is right, you say. This is more acceptable to people and less weird, you think.

I have never seen one scientifically proven way to live life for guaranteed results in every category, so I am going out on a limb and choosing what feels best to me. Why? Because it helps me sleep at night. Because it gets me up in the morning. Because in the first twenty-three years of my life, I never knew peace like this. Because I have met a lot of gifted and kind people through my faith, and they have lit the path for me when it got dark. Because my relationships have improved. Because I’ve started to bring in more income. Because my writing has become stronger and more genuine than ever before. I could go on…

It’s all because I realized that every day, I choose, and I became conscious of what I am choosing.

I also read success stories of people who are happily with their twin flame and working with the LOA to make all their other dreams come true.

I reach out to people who inspire me.

I give myself space to feel down and know I will come back up when I’m ready.

I think about my faith and feel grateful for it. I feel grateful for the people who encourage me when I’m low on my faith.

Every day.

Twin Flames, Faith, & Other Love Interests or Suitors

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I wanted to share what I’ve learned on the above subject. It’s a little personal, and while I hope not to get too personal, it’s necessary to share some details.

If you resonate with twin flames and feel that connection with someone, then you probably also recognize that this journey is one of faith. Faith can easily be the most difficult aspect, because we are accustomed to looking for results on the outside before we make any shifts internally. As you understand more how reality works, you know this is backwards. It can lead us to go in circles and feel unable to shift a situation.

We are also presented with many tests on this path, some of them in the form of other love interests or suitors. I feel that this is the universe saying to me, “Will you take this chance to settle for less than what you want, or will you keep the faith?” Before I became more at peace with all of it, I felt the question was, “What’s wrong with you, that you can’t take these opportunities with other potentials?” It left me feeling hopeless, that I would be alone forever. I tried more than I should have to make some of these other opportunities work, at the expense of my deep sensitivities.

If you find yourself interested romantically or sexually in another person – first of all, that’s completely normal, and there is nothing wrong with it. But you might find, when that happens and especially if it’s rare, you’re attracted to the person because they have traits that remind you of your TF. When this has happened for me and I pursued it, my TF was always in the background of my thoughts.

It was him I really wanted, regardless of whether I could be happy with someone else. I found that these relationships naturally fell away or didn’t work out for whatever reason. It was never because I brought up my TF or seemed hung up on him in any way. Usually, it was the other person who wanted to end things.

As you work on yourself spiritually and raise your vibration, you’re going to be overwhelmed with people who want some of your energy, and many of them might put a romantic interpretation on this. It does not matter what you look like; raising your vibration can make you physically attractive. (I know people who have used law of attraction to lose weight and even look younger.) Not to mention, people will see the light in your heart and not all of them will have the best intentions – the problem is, they aren’t aware of this. They just see this beautiful, compassionate, caring person that you are, and they want to make you theirs somehow.

This can be confusing at first. When it happened for me, I wondered, “Where are these men coming from, and why so suddenly? Am I not being open enough to the opportunities the universe is giving me?” The truth was, I was attracted to none of them, and as I became more aware that they loved my compassion and care more than me as a person, I slowly backed away. Because of my gifts, I understood them and was able to make them feel seen, but this was often one-sided. I did not receive it in return. Some of them said that I treated them in a way that no other woman ever had – and this was simply because I listened to them and validated their feelings. While that is a shame that it’s not a more common occurrence in their lives, this did not equate to love. True love takes much more than this, and it must flow both ways in order for both parties to feel satisfied and healthy.

If you are not yet in alignment with TF union on all levels, please don’t feel guilty if you seem to be having many other chances for a partner, but you aren’t accepting them. If you experience many suitors and wonder whether to accept their offers of companionship, look carefully at the other person’s energy and intentions toward you.

Some questions you might ask yourself:

  1. Does my body tense up when this person talks to me?
  2. Does this person offer more problems than solutions?
  3. Does this person seem clingy, or like they want more than I can give them right now?
  4. Are they being patient and kind, or demanding and passive-aggressive? Does it seem like they make up problems to get my attention?

These questions are especially important for those of you who identify as empaths.

One such suitor in my life threatened suicide after I turned him down. This was after I had given the relationship an honest try, but he behaved in a way that hurt me. After he told me he wanted to die, I spent the rest of the day desperately trying to help him and called the suicide prevention line for him, since he wouldn’t call it himself. He suddenly stopped texting me and I feared the worst. For several months, I carried this in my heart, and then he reached out to me, out of the blue. I was so happy he was alive that I agreed to see him. It became apparent that he wanted more than I wanted to give him, but I felt afraid to say no again. He sensed that none of my heart was behind it and became angry with me. I eventually had to block him.

I knew I couldn’t help him, and even if I did love him, it wouldn’t change anything. He held on to the belief that life was hopeless and lonely. He held on to a deep dislike of humanity. I could not change these things for him. After working so hard on myself to emerge from my depression, I did not want to be around someone who could drag me back into my old ways of thinking and feeling.

Pay attention to your red flags, and don’t doubt yourself if you want to hold out for your true love. Remember that love is patient and kind. You will be a gentle healing agent to many in your lifetime, but you also deserve this in return. You deserve a partner who can be positive and strong for you as you are for him/her. You’ve done far too much work and gone too far just to go this far.

This is not even about “waiting” for your TF.

It’s about your faith that the universe has something wonderful in store for you.

Dealing With Disagreement as a Conscious Manifestor

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The Law of Attraction itself is straightforward – what you think, believe, and feel predominantly is what you get. What is not so straightforward is living a conscious manifesting lifestyle while those close to you don’t believe, make fun of it, or disapprove.

Last week, I watched the second night of the DNC’s debates that featured Marianne Williamson. She concluded her appearance by saying that President Trump has harnessed fear for political purposes, and now she intends to harness love with her campaign. Even though I very much admire her and agree with her on several issues, I cringed a little as she said it – not because it isn’t true or I disliked it, but because I was imagining the jeers from people in response to her words. I went to bed, and in the morning, Twitter was flooded with memes and articles poking fun at that soundbite. But Marianne Williamson, unlike me, seemed to draw strength from the jokes and could laugh along with everyone. We would all do well to live by her example of taking our jobs, but not ourselves, seriously.

The response above got me thinking about the spiritual closet and how tempting it is to get in there, lock the door, and throw away the key. I have come running out of the closet, and I have poked a few toes gradually out of the closet, but I always have a way of cramming myself back in there the moment I feel like someone disagrees with me or thinks my spirituality is funny or weird. Sometimes I hesitate to write these articles, because I first imagine the response of those who won’t agree, instead of the ones it can help. I have even experienced family thinking I am in a cult after I began writing and sharing articles like these on my social media.

We all struggle with this. We focus on the negative rather than on our achievements. Someone telling me they appreciate me is forgotten the instant someone criticizes me. A nice article about how there are plastic-eating mushrooms in the world is forgotten when I see a photo of plastic waste in the ocean. This is how our minds have been trained, and it can be very difficult to “undo” this. That’s why being consistent and persistent as a conscious creator in the face of perceived failure and others’ disapproval is so very important.

When you live a manifesting lifestyle and try to share with your loved ones about your signs and synchs, or how you’ve changed your thinking, you might be met with resistance. Even if you don’t share, it’s easy to pick up on vibes and know whether someone would be open to LOA or think it’s just a bunch of fairy dust nonsense. I have noticed that people often turn to humor or sarcasm when they don’t know how to respond to one’s beliefs or spirituality. I feel that there is no true malicious intent behind this response, but it’s more because the person is experiencing discomfort with the ideas.

It’s important to understand that while people may disagree or think you’re partaking in silly nonsense that will never amount to anything, their being in disagreement does not affect your ability to attract good into your life. You could be best friends with someone, and their beliefs wouldn’t always be your beliefs. Even if they try to make you feel bad about that or give you evidence of why they’re right, disagreeing is a natural part of being a human on a path specific to you among other humans on other paths specific to them.

As I saw from the Marianne Williamson example, it takes great strength to continue along with your desired path when it seems like a lot of people, or those who are most important to you, do not agree with it or think it’s funny. Sometimes we can make the choice not to speak to anyone about our biggest dreams and thus avoid responses that don’t feel so great, but sometimes, we must be brave enough to speak or write about them so that others who think similarly can benefit from the light we bring to the world.

Disagreement does not equal a lack of love and respect for another person. It simply means that the way you’re living your life, the choices you’re making, differ from someone else’s way. And that is not inherently bad or wrong. If someone else pokes fun at your spirituality or says something negative about it – or thinks you’re in a cult – that’s not your problem. It’s not theirs, either. It’s actually not a problem at all. Remember that saying, “What someone else thinks of you is none of your business”? It’s popular because it’s true. Everything someone says or what they feel is neutral to us, until we give it meaning.

Disagreeing is a natural part of being a human on a path specific to you among other humans on other paths specific to them.

I was miserable when I realized people disapproved of my spirituality, because I chose to take that disapproval to heart. I made it mean that something was wrong with me, that I wasn’t loved. But neither of these statements hold any truth.

If your conscious approach to the law of attraction is working for you, or if you’re yet to see results but feeling better as a result of choosing positive thoughts, that’s all that matters. Maybe it doesn’t work for your Uncle Joe. You don’t have control over Uncle Joe’s life, but you have control over yours. Next time Uncle Joe makes fun of you or asks with a sneer “how those witchcraft books are working for you,” I hope you’ll smile and tell him they’re great.

Next time you feel tempted to take someone’s opinion of you or your life and make it into a story, or allow it to define you in any way, I hope you will remember this. I hope you will continue reading your law of attraction books and twin flame blogs and never cease to choose what makes you feel the tiniest bit better, even if someone else had something mean to say about it. I hope you will continue loving people that you “shouldn’t” love. I hope you will continue writing about topics that may make certain people uncomfortable, because your work will provide relief to countless others.

I hope you will continue to create good things for yourself because you have the power to do so, and that power cannot be taken away by anyone else.